Parenting and Running: One and the Same?

Joshua’s first trail run: July 11, 2026 3.06 miles, 45:03; 14:44 average pace; 226-foot elevation gain

Carolyn Su, the founder of the Diverse We Run platform, shares some reflections in this NYRR Contributors Circle blog post.

As a parent, you hope that one day you will get to share in something you’re passionate about with your children—and the dream is that they’ll like it too! But the reality is, those Hallmark-moment experiences rarely happen as seamlessly as the movies portray. Sometimes (dare I say, MOST of the time?) these parent-child bonding moments feel just like every other moment in parenting—forced, and after much coercion, I mean, effort.

I Really Love Running

Running has been a beloved sport of mine, starting from my freshman year of college. It’s the conduit through which I have learned to listen to my body’s signals, needs, and cues, and the ever-evolving changes a woman’s body goes through—from youth, to pregnancy, to postpartum, to perimenopause. Running has played a significant role in my journey of healing from disordered eating and body dysmorphia. It has also evolved from a tool meant to control my body into an act of freedom and strength.

2012 Thunder Cloud Subs Turkey Trot


2016 Austin Marathon

Running was the medium for self-care when my kids were little and I needed to have something in my life that was just for me. Running was a source of social connection and a platform for advocacy during the COVID years, and it was powerful to see how the sport was not only a metaphor that ran parallel to people’s lives, but also a microcosm and reflection of the systemic inequities of our society at large. Running continues to be the main pipeline of establishing new relationships and building friendships for me, both on and off the road and trail.


2024 Girls on the Run Spring 5K


2025 We Out Here Trail Fest


2024 TCS New York City Marathon   

I love the motion of running and the curiosity it breeds.
I love the drive of running that pushes a person to explore and ask, “What if…?”
I love the—well, no, I don’t love the heartbreak of running, per se, but I appreciate and value the growth that running fosters internally, mentally, and physically.

Long story short: I love running.

Running with My Teen

When my teenage son expressed interest in joining me on a trail run (it would be his first), I had to restrain myself from literally jumping up in joy and enthusiasm.

The conversation actually went something like this:

Me (trying to be nonchalant): Hey, I’m going on a short trail run tomorrow morning, and the weather is supposed to be nice. Wanna come?
Son (shrugs): Um, sure. (Walks away.)
Me )internally freaking out, “omg omg omg he said he wanted to go!!!!!” before calling out after him): OK, cool!

The morning of the run was a battle and a slog. Usually, when it is just me, I prep my things the night before—hydration pack filled, clothing laid out, shoes by the door— and fuel up with my coffee and fig bars, in between reps of pre-hab exercises and muscle activations, and get out the door in 30 minutes. Being the wonderfully thoughtful mother that I am, I got all the same things ready for my son; however, and this may come as a surprise, teen boys do not enjoy being woken up at 8:00 a.m. on a Saturday to do anything, let alone an activity with their mom (though in my defense, I did inform him of this plan the day before and advised an earlier bedtime with alarm set).

It was basically a push-pull from the get-go:

Me: Go brush your teeth and wash up.
Son: Huh?
Me: I said go brush your teeth and wash up.
Son: Where are my clothes?
Me: Already on your dresser. Did you remember to wear socks? Do you want to carry a hand-held water bottle or just forgo?
Son: I don’t know!
Me: Please eat this.
Son: I’m not hungry.
Me: You need to eat something before running so you don’t get hypoglycemia.
Son: I’m not going to get hypoglycemia.
Me: You’re going to get hypoglycemia. Did you put on sunscreen?
Son: MY SHOES DON’T FIT.
Me: ARE YOU SERIOUS? I JUST BOUGHT THOSE A MONTH AGO!
Son: STOP YELLING AT ME.
Me: I’M NOT YELLING!!!

My son put on a pair of my trail shoes (somehow, we are now the same shoe size?!), and an eternity later, we were finally in the car en route to a nearby trail system. All 15 minutes of the drive were filled with complaints.

His limbs felt tired. He asked, “How long do we have to be out?” His shoes felt uncomfortable. Even the nozzle of this particular brand of bug spray was sub-par, which he pointed out as we sprayed each other down in the parking lot.

Five minutes down the path, my son complained that his chest hurt, and then, a beat later, commented that he always struggles to get comfortable, and that he was, therefore, “a bad runner.”

That line of thinking was all too familiar. How often is that my own inner monologue, the voice of my own inner critic, telling me I am not and will never be a capable or a “good-enough runner”?

Hearing those words spoken aloud by my teen made me pause.

We slowed to a walk, and I reminded my son to relax, to allow himself to breathe, and to give himself time to get settled into his body. We were there to have fun and to simply move around, explore, and maybe even have an adventure! We were not outside to focus on speed or time. We weren’t at a meet. No one was going to judge him. I certainly was not!

I looked over at him and said, “Just relax, and have fun.”

We picked back up again and let the sound of our steps crunching the pebbles on the fire road and padding through the pine needles alternate with our breaths.

Soon, someone was bounding way ahead of me with the lanky limbs and fearlessness that youth generously imbibes.

“Ma, Ma!” he called back at me, as I scrambled to catch up. “Do you know what ‘unc’ means??” His laughter resonated in the trees around us.


My son, leaving me behind in the Middlesex Fells.

As a parent, you hope that one day you will get to share in something you’re passionate about with your children, and that maybe they will take to it. And yeah, most of the time, getting to the actual point of enjoyment is an exercise of patience and mental endurance, and you may question why you bothered to try in the first place.

But then, in the midst of fielding complaints and navigating creeping feelings of doubt and regret, an invisible threshold is suddenly, subtly crossed, and you just might find yourself breathless, watching your son discover his element and stride (literally!), and overwhelmed with joy, pride, and gratitude for this moment in life you get to share.

Yeah. I really, really love running.
♥️

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